The Conspiracy Theory of Pants

Hey Y'all! How is it going? That title has you hooked, doesn't it? I know everybody loves conspiracy theories (especially my brother Zach, but that's a whole different story :)), so here it goes...

Over the past couple of weeks I realized that somebody or better yet SOMETHING was out to get me. Cue the creepy music. It all started on that fateful Sunday two weeks ago, the same day I fell in love (view previous post to see the whole story). It was then I realized that PANTS WERE OUT TO GET ME. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Yes I said pants.

I was standing watching the air show when my brother Nathan said, "Hey Al, you have a hole in the back of your pants." I'm like, "Oh, really? Is it where the duct tape is?" (see my pair of knickers that I was wearing had got a small hole in them a couple of months ago and I had duct tape them on the inside. Voila! All good!) Nathan replied, "I don't know." Then I looked down and behind and saw/felt this GIANT hole in my knickers. IT WAS LIKE TWO INCHES LONG!!! The first thought that went through my head was, OH CRAP! Immediately I sat down to cover up the GIANT hole. A lady sitting close by gave me some safety pins and then a little later a her cover up, so I could wrap in around my waist. Then Zach bought a new shirt which I put on and it covered up the hole. Thankfully! :D The whole incident was EMBRASSING; the only good news about the whole incident is it happened in the Quad Cities and NOBODY KNEW ME. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!! lol.

The second incident occurred last week while working in Iowa City. Dad, Nathan, and I were taking our lunch break and I was getting up from sitting on the pile of tarps and felt a rip in the back of my pant!!!!!!!!!! This time I had duct tape on hand and just duct taped in up, but seriously this was the second time in the past three days that my pants ripped. I mean I know I eat a lot, but I don't really think I am getting much bigger. lol.

The third incident isn't that big of a deal. It happened today when I pulled the button off my work shorts and realized there were three small holes in the side of these shorts. Luckily my AWESOME Mommy is going to fix those shorts for me. However, this means in the past two weeks I've had to throw out two pairs of pants and have another pair repaired because of holes. AHHHHHHH!!

The only explanation I have for this craziness is that PANTS ARE OUT TO GET ME!!! And that is the story of my conspiracy theory of pants. I hope you y'all enjoyed it.

"That's All Folks!"